If Jennifer Wilbanks, the Atlanta area bride to be who ran away to the Land of Enchantment just before her wedding day, had practised the principles of stress resiliency, she might be happily married today. Or maybe she would have just called the whole thing off without having to resort to hopping a bus and triggering a nationwide "womanhunt."
According to the experts, pre-wedding "jitters" are extremely common, and although most future brides and grooms don't go to the extremes to which Jennifer Wilbanks resorted, many engaged people suffer a significant amount of stress prior to the wedding day. Other folks seem to breeze through the whole process without a (no pun intended!) hitch. What's the difference?
The answer is stress resiliency or the capacity to bounce back from a stressful situation. Being stress resilient also means that events which would have likely bothered you in the past, don't have nearly as much of a negative effect on you as they once did. So how do we become more stress resilient?
Well, one simple way to begin is to exercise. Now, wait a minute...
wasn't Jennifer Wilbanks a marathoner? That should be enough exercise for anyone!
I don't know how much Jennifer ran or how intensively she trained, but it doesn't take being able to compete in a marathon to increase your stress resiliency. And like anything else, you can overdo even a good thing. Some people train too hard, exhausting themselves both emotionally and physically, and undoing the good effects.
The key to exercise, as in anything else, seems to be moderation. So what's the right amount of exercise?
A good starting point is to start walking, three to four days a week, for twenty minutes to a half-hour. Give yourself a couple of minutes at a leisurely pace to warm up, then gradually increase your speed until you are walking like you are late for an appointment. Use the last couple of minutes to recover by slowing your pace. That's it! In just a week or so, you will notice your resting heart rate has fallen and your heart has calmed. You'll sleep better, probably notice you are in a better mood and your appetite won't be as ravenous.
So don't let Jennifer Wilbanks history of marathoning scare you away from exercise. Just do it moderately. After all, being stress resilient means never having to say you're sorry!
Poor Jennifer Wilbanks! She's bound to be in everybody's blog now. I wrote about her last week, too. (http://www.find-a-sweetheart.com/blog/2005/05/are-you-runaway-bride-even-if-altar-is.html)I'd say that learning to say "no" ought to be on Jennifer's "to-do" list, though girls north and south have a devilish problem with no-saying.
Best, Kathryn Lord
Posted by: Kathryn Lord | May 14, 2005 at 08:36 AM